Command Crisis

"Skipper, we're picking up an outgoing airborne target." "It's on a north by south heading. Air speed two and a half knots." "Altitude is four meters and rising fast. Five meters, six meter- Ow!" "Juliet! You know how I feel about the metric system. We go in feet and inches!" "Identifying target. It looks like we have another runaway red on our hands, Skipper." "Why is it always the red ones?" "There it is." "Operation: Runaway Red is go-go-go!" "Get the slingshot!" "On my mark. Now!" Rico shot right into the air. "Quick, get the blanket!" "Excellent work, boys. Now let's get back to base." "Team, today's operation was a success." "Alright!" "Yay!" "However, I have to ask, are we ready for the big one?" "What's the big one?" "That's what today's about." "The big one's today?" "Yes, Romeo. The big one is coming today. Around four-ish. Fortunately, I have spent months getting ready for this. And when this plan was complete, I knew what I had to do. I placed the plan in a lock box. I buried it in a remote area of the zoo. It's where no human or animal ever goes." "Until they complete the Central Park Children's Zoo." "What was that, Juliet?" "That's where the children's zoo will be. Groundbreaking is today." "Blast!" "Let's get out there." "There it is. The site of the children's zoo." "Not to mention the spot where Skipper placed his lock box." "We only have 4 hours until the big one comes around." "We have to obtain those plans." "We need a distraction." "Ooh. It's live at 5 Chuck Charles, from the telly." "There's our distraction." "Let's get to that news van." "I'm going in." "Do you think that Skipper needs backup?" "Come on, Skipper can handle himself in there, Tiana." "Whoa, looks like there's a big brawl inside that van." "Uh, Skipper?" "Awaiting orders, sir." "Oh, no." "We have to get him out of there. What should we do?" "Commence Operation: Get Skipper Out Of The Locked Van?" "The name needs work, Odette. But let's do it!" "Let's move!" "Ow!" "What was that?! You were supposed to catch me!" "No we were supposed to pick the lock." "Bomb! Bomb! Bomb!" "Rico's right. We should just blast the door open." "Wait! We've got more commotion inside!" "Whoa!" "Uh..." "Skipper!" "He's out cold!" "Okay, who hid my hair spritz?" "Let's get outta here." "Are you alright, Skipper?" "Get outta my shot. This is Chuck Charles with your late breaking local news." "He's talking to the wall!" "Something went wrong inside the van." "Kowalski, what's your diagnosis?" "Skipper's functional sensors to mimic Chuck Charles behavior on the news." "Are you saying?" "Yes, Odette. I am saying that Skipper has Anchormanesia." "I'm Chuck Charles and we're you're Live at Five News Team. Gil Forbes on weather, Scooter Alvarez on Sports, and as always, my co-anchor, Bonnie Chang." "He's gone insane! We have to fix him. And he's thinking that we're people who we are not." "Kowalski, you have to create an antidote that will make Skipper snap out of his anchorman delusions. I'll help you create the antidote." "And what about the rest of us?" "You have try and get Skipper to remember who he is." "In the meantime, Kowalski, Rico and I will whip up a cure." "Ok, now let's whip up that medicine." "I will randomly combine liquids and powders until we get a cure." "Let's do it." "Try mixing this liquid with that one." Boom! "On second thought, let's try mixing a powder and a liquid." "Let's go check on Skipper and the others." "Status report, Odette." "He's still acting like Chuck Charles." "The Anchormanesia cure is slightly behind schedule." "We only have one hour left." "We still need at least 7000 years." "Hey, where Skipper?" "Don't worry, Rico. Skipper's- What? He's gone!" "There he is. He's interviewing King Julien." "Let's get him back here." "Let's not be running off, Skipper." "Get him back inside, pronto!" "What do we do now, Odette?" "We may have to do it without Skipper." "But, your highness." "I know but we choice do we have?" "Skipper would want us to carry on without him." "Let's do it." "Uh, we're gonna go out for a while, Chuck. So you just stay here in the studio." "Okay, let's move." "There's the location of the plans." "With all the construction going on, we can be seen easily." "What would Skipper do?" "Uh, precariously perch himself high atop the crane?" "I don't see how that can help." "It won't help at all but he's doing that." "He's not making our mission easy for us." "Easy? Was it easy for Manfriedi and Johnson when that undersea escape tunnel was actually the business end of a beluga whale? Those fellas couldn't even speak for a month!" "And even then, it was gibberish." "If this will be hard, that's fine with me." "Yeah." "Let's do this thing! And all other things required." "Get Skipper! I'll get to the front-end loader." "Everyone, get in here." "What do we do?" "Should I connect the blue one to the red one or the red one to the blue one?" "I don't know." "That's what Skipper would decide. But there isn't anything normal about this." "Perhaps if I bypass the- Whoa!" "Aaah!" "Stop!!!" "You hit the button that lowers the bucket." "There's the plans. We have to obtain the plans." "Everyone pull the box out of the dirt!" "We got it!" "Someone's lowering the bucket!" "We're gonna be buried alive!" "Aaaaaaah!" "Well, at least we saved the plans." "Well, it would be better if we were not huried alive with them." "I think it's about fourish already." "You're right, Odette. It is about fourish." "Let's take a look inside." "What?" "That's it? A mini tape recorder? Play the recorded message." "Is the team ready for the big one? We shall see." "Afraid not." "But what is it? Some sort of natural disaster?" "You might think it's some sort of natural disaster. But you are wrong. The big one is the greatest challenge of all. What would happen if one of the team is out? What if we didn't have Private's heart, Kowalski's brains, Rico's appetite for reckless destruction, Odette's royal leadership, Dumbo's talent, Romeo and Juliet's love for each other, or even the rest of the team's strong will?" "I don't know." "I suppose that would be bad." "Or what if the team leader was freakishly acting like a pompous anchorman? What if indeed?" "Yes, what if- what the-" "Wait a minute. You were faking it!" "Exactly, Juliet." "So this was all a test?" "And the team came through. Huzzah!" "We're ready for the big one!" "Yes we are. But we're also running out of oxygen." "Kowalski, we need options." "Rico can set an explosive charge under this box, blasting it straight up through the dirt and rock and we'll hang onto it." "Rico?" "Let's go!" "Yahooo!" "We did it!" "We kicked big one butt!" "And we're out!"